Some of my posts on here - well, quite a bit for a while actually - will be the ups & downs of my current relationship. good days...things that made me happy. bad days... things that annoyed me. why? because i'm trying to get a clear picture of how my relationship is going. we're both under a good bit of stress at the moment & i'm trying to take that into consideration. Sometimes... we're SO happy. other times... i can't stand him, & by the time we're halfway finished with our spat it's my fault. (or so he would have me think.) i'm not saying i'm never at fault... but every time? it can't be just me... if so, why is he with me? so... i need to keep a log of when we have good days & why. when we have bad days & what happened. maybe it is me. if so, i need to work on it. maybe it's him. i don't know. i feel that he manipulates me when we fight & turns my thoughts around. my memory isn't the best these days. i'm 35 years old & i've lost 2 very important people in my life. since they both passed away i've not been myself. i've been depressed, had a lot of weight gain, sleep problems & my memory is very foggy. i would love to go to the doctor & get on antidepressants, however, like most jobs in the "great USofA", *rolls eyes* mine does not provide insurance. & the minor duckets i earn don't allow me to purchase insurance on my own.
anyway... enough of this... =)
*Isadora isn't my real name...but you can call me Isi xD