Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Mom

I had another dream about mom again.  Those dreams don't bother me.  I like them... I get to see her again when I dream of her.  I don't like, however, that towards the end of the dream she's always shown as something that resembles death.  I know it's my mind missing her since she passed away.  Saying, "hey... she's gone."  i know that.  -_-    But I get to see her walking around & being with me.  It's nice.  Today, however, the dream really bothered me.  It was the first dream where we didn't talk.  We communicated, but she didn't speak.  It was like I KNEW what she was "saying".  But she never spoke.  After I woke up I was so sad for hours.  Cried a lot.  I was so sad b/c I just realized I don't really remember mom's voice.  I remember her saying one sentence.  That's it.  When I'd call up to her job to talk to her, she'd answer the phone, "Emergency, Brenda speaking."  I can hear her clear as day saying that.  But that's it.  That's all I remember of her voice.  It makes me so sad.  I miss her so much.