Friday, May 20, 2011

Our current situation...

he (call him X) & i met online.  talked for 3 years & are best friends.  rarely fought or got annoyed with each other.  98% of the time...we'd get along GREAT!  we met for the first time in person in July 2010.  spent 4 days together.  had a wonderful time!  got along perfect!!!   we decided to move in with each other!   i moved to where my dad lives that same july.  he would end up following me in october after i got some income coming in & my apartment was ready.  i stayed with my dad & step-monster (step-mother) until then.  where we currently live... we don't want to be, but we moved here because my dad wanted me to learn the family business & take it over when it is time for him to retire.  dad & he got along great.  my step-monster doesn't count.  she's queen bitch.  very fake person.  why dad stays with her?  probably the $ he'd lose if they divorced.  anyway, things were good for the 1st month.  then in november, things started to go down hill.  let me just give you the very short version of the story.  there are so many people in this city that for the 5 jobs that are available there are 500 people applying.  yes, those numbers are a joke, but you get the idea... recession, big city, lots of people, everyone having a hard time finding work...... yeah.  it took him 4 months to find a job & it was only part time work that he could get.  my dad & step-monster started having fits over this.  basically they didn't believe us when we said we were out there looking for him a job.  my dad now thinks i'm a liar - which i'm not.  & dad thinks he's a lazy, mooching, bastard that doesn't want to work - & he's not.  dad & step-monster have driven a wedge between me & them & i resent it.  i had a good relationship with my dad... it's damaged now.  i don't even want to go over to his house anymore.  X & i decided we have had enough of all the stress & bullshit that's going on here.  we want out.  we don't want to be here & since i've decided i don't want the business... we're moving north where X is from.  he's going to move at the end of this month & we're going to go back to a phone only relationship.  i will follow after he gets a job & when the current lease is up... last month is september, so i'll move in october.  he will move in with his mom.  she's willing to let us both live with her as roommates to help us with this big move.  so we can get on our feet.  after i get up there & get a job, i'm planning on enrolling into a community college.  i want to get a certificate in medical billing/coding/transcription/assistant or something like that.  something that will let me get out of the current job industry i'm in (which i hate) & will allow me to earn more money.   the current industry i work in is 85% run by cheap bastards that want to pay you as little as possible (with no benefits to boot) & expect as much work as possible from you.  the only reason i've stayed as long as i have is because it's very, very easy work.  but i'm at my limit.  i'm tired of it all & i want out.

so, i'm hoping once we are together again & i get a job.... things will mellow out as far as our stress level & we can hopefully have a peaceful life together.  since november 2010 he & i have been so friggin' stressed out b/c of my dad/step-mom & money situations that we argue/fight a lot.    when we are happy, we are SO very happy, i don't want to be with anyone else & he is the sweetest person in the world for me.

5.18.11

he drank the rest of his whiskey.  he became an ass again.  i hate it.  he said, "you will always have your sobriety, & i will always have a buzz of some kind."   i don't like him at all when he's like this.  at all.   i'm trying to remember we're both under a lot of stress.  to just wait things out until we move & can live together w/o all this bullshit we have going on here.

5.17.11

Good day so far.  I'm going to bed.  We watched movies & were sweet to each other.  ^.^

5.16.11

He drank while i was at work.  as i feared, we got annoyed with each other, & of course it was my fault because "i'm too uptight".

I don't like being around him when he drinks.

Ok, for those that will read this.... here's something you should know.  my b/f was a drug addict.  (or still is....what is it they say?  once you're an addict/alcoholic/gambler you're one for life?)  he is still a bit immature & he realizes he needs to mature up a bit.  he's got the mentality that life sucks w/o a buzz, & while i don't mind drinking with him from time to time... i don't feel like you have to have a buzz every day to get through life.  when he drinks, he doesn't drink like me & my friends do.  we drink & get buzzed... keep it that way.  he likes to get shit faced drunk.  i hate that.  when he drinks like that, captain asshole surfaces.  we get on each other's nerves... bad.   -_-

5.15.11

we had a good night.  we didn't drink like we planned to do, but we had fun anyway.  watched a movie.  good night.  =)